Ghosting, why do people do it?

Ghosting makes you feel alone and confused

Ghosting is a hurtful behaviour that has become increasingly common with the rise of messaging as the primary mode of communication. It happens when someone, who was previously in regular contact—whether in a romantic, familial, or friendship relationship—suddenly cuts off all communication without any explanation. This abrupt silence can be shocking and deeply unsettling for the person left behind.

Have You Ever Been Ghosted?

Are you wondering why it happened? On one hand, the answer might seem simple: the person who ghosted you either can’t or won’t face you.

On the other hand, the reasons can be far more complex. People ghost for a variety of reasons, including:

• Feeling overwhelmed

• Having their personal boundaries crossed

• Playing emotional games

• Simply not caring

• Needing personal space

• Struggling with mental health issues like depression or anxiety

• Avoiding conflict or rejection

• Having an avoidant attachment style, where they withdraw when emotions get too intense

• Lacking effective communication skills

• Fearing for their safety, such as in cases where they feel stalked or their privacy is invaded

  
  

How Does Being Ghosted Make You Feel?

Being ghosted is a painful and confusing experience. It can leave you feeling lost, abandoned, angry, and sad. In many ways, it’s a form of grief—one without closure.

You might find yourself stuck in a torturous loop of thoughts, trying to figure out what went wrong or, worse, what you did wrong. This obsessive thinking can take a toll on your self-esteem and confidence, making the emotional impact even more severe.

But here’s an important truth: being ghosted is not your fault. It’s a reflection of the other person’s mindset and behaviour. As difficult as it may be to accept, this is not about you.

What Can You Do If You’ve Been Ghosted?

1. Reach Out Once: Send a message or make a call to check if they’re okay. If they don’t respond or read your message without replying, let it go. Repeatedly reaching out can harm your self-respect and confidence.

   
   

2. Don’t Wait for Them: As hard as it might be, resist the urge to keep messaging or waiting for them to contact you. Remember, you have no control over their thoughts or actions.

   
   

3. Focus on Yourself: Prioritize self-care and spend quality time with people who value and appreciate you.

   
   

4. Accept the Reality: Understand that their behavior is not a reflection of your worth. This is about them, not you.

If you have been ghosted, I would love to hear your story or you are the ghoster, knowing why you did it would be interesting. No judgement here!